who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
