Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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