New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
