My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
