i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
