Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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