You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You need a sexual gate keeper
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize