I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
