So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
