you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
