went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
