he puts the penis in happiness.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
