I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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