i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Just high enough for therapy.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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