Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
