I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
