i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
