i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
