can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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