He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
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