The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
