I don't think brook has ever known best
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
