brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
