My balls are so social today.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize