I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
