I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize