this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
She needs sedatives and a leash
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
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