these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
