I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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