We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize