Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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