So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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