I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
