That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize