mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
