I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
