walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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