Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Actions speak louder than pants.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
