i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
