i permit you to call me
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Can I color on your dick again?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
