it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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