We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
