couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
