omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
