would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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