Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Randomize
