you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
