Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
