I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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