I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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