i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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