he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
