it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
