At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
