I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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