have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
