If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I feel like abortions should bother me more
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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