do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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