yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
