she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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