Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
