My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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