...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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