Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize