I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize