i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
