Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize