Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
