How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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