I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
